“This cop came into my dressing room. He's like Robocop – helmet, goggles, gun, handcuffs. He says, ‘Those little fellas – do you hang one of them every night?’”: Ozzy Osbourne’s outrageous tales of idiot lawmen, werewolves, chimpanzees and Paul McCartney

“Sharon’s going, ‘Smile!’ And the chimp is biting my thumb off!”

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